Learning to be assertive will assist you greatly in the world

Learning to be assertive will assist you greatly in the world


Being assertive means that you establish what you want and feel in a way that isn’t too passive or too aggressive. Passive means you do it in an indirect manner while aggressive means you do it in a too direct, damaging manner.  Assertiveness skills are very important skills to have in the world.

When we speak to those around us we either take a stance that is very aggressive or very passive. This is wrong.  We must rather have good assertive skills. This means we are neither too much of one nor too little of the other, but we are rather a good balanced mixture of both. Assertiveness, however, is not considered passive or aggressive, but rather a balanced behaviour.

Being passive does not equal to having good assertiveness skills.

It is easy to find people who are too passive – they are the ones who always do whatever other people want and are very submissive. This comes from their need to be acknowledged and approved of by others. This is something we should avoid and something that could be very bad for us. The best way to ensure that you’re not too passive is to say “no” from time to time. This will show other people that you are not only there to be trampled over or exist to help them in their lives – you have your own to look after.

In the same light, however, being too aggressive is also not equal to being assertive. When you are too aggressive, you very often find yourself in the position of hurting other people’s feeling because you don’t take them into account when you say something. By doing this you can quite easily “burn bridges” that could possibly help you later in your life.

Basics for having good assertiveness skills:

  • Don’t let yourself get bossed around by other people. Say “no” from time to time.
  • Try not to discard other people’s opinions nor ignore them for no reason.
  • Don’t let anyone who has offended you leave without knowing they’ve done so. You should let other people know when you believe you have been hurt unreasonably, but you shouldn’t then attack them back.
  • Being assertive means you’ll listen to others. You can learn a great deal in doing so.
  • If you want to be assertive, you should take advice from other people too. You can’t know all the answers and you should respect and understand that. You can learn from other people’s experiences and shouldn’t believe you’re too good to listen to their advice.


Being assertive is an amazing skill that is recommended by major owners of corporations. Learning this skill isn’t impossible and you’re not just “born with it”. You can train your assertiveness skills on websites such as on www.boti.co.za where you can access a course like this. If you want to work on your assertiveness skills, visit https://boti.co.za/events/event/assertiveness-skills-training-course-11/ for more information and to enrol.

Assertiveness Course

Assertiveness Course



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